


five's a crowd

by espurr_roba



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Gen, also prince ali's in this and is probs completely ooc, but it is, i don't know how this became 4k of crack, this is like very crackish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 10:56:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6235954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espurr_roba/pseuds/espurr_roba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One new miraculous wielding superhero, that was fine. A bit of a shock, but still fine.</p><p>Two new miraculous wielding superheroes, that was a bit too much to handle.</p><p>Three was just goddamn ridiculous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	five's a crowd

**Author's Note:**

> i have spent hours on this and it's like four am and i just wanted this out before canada's new episode which might not even be the one with volpina, aren't i just dedicated to doing things before canon can rip apart my headcanons ha ha ha
> 
> ...anyway, on with the show.
> 
> (psst, now it's crossposted on FF.net)

“That’s a foxy lady.”

“Chat, I swear to god you are _this_ close to getting a lucky charm’d knife in you.”

“Me- _ouch_ ,” said Chat, theatrically wounded. “That’s a razor sharp wit you’ve got there, my Lady.”

“And it’s gonna stab worse than a knife if you don't focus on why there’s a fox girl running across rooftops in the dead of night.”

Chat, with an air of absolute _carelessness,_  just gave a smirk. “To be fair, it looks like she’s just _standing_ there.”

Ladybug decided to prioritize this new girl over the urge to physically harm Chat Noir, settling even more into her crouch as she tried her hardest to make out the exact details of the girl standing only two rooftops away.

Although night vision was unfortunately not one of her powers (and she really didn't feel like asking Chat for his input when he wasn't even taking this seriously), she could barely make out the orange tint that had been so apparent when this girl had been running in the moonlight mere moments ago. The orange-suited girl stood absolutely still, backs to them, only her long, _long_ hair gently swaying in the wind, the end of which seemed to be in a very low pony tail that resembled a fox tail, tying into the whole fox theme she had going on. You know, as if the two giant fox ears didn't make that obvious enough.

“What do you think she’s doing here?” Ladybug said, not even breaking eye contact from the girl’s figure as she lowered her voice.

“Either she’s moonlighting as a furry that’s just _really_ athletic or she’s a magical girl like us.”

That, however, was more than enough for her to break her gaze and just _stare_ at him.

Chat just snickered, obviously predicting that reaction. “Relax, Bugaboo, she probably _is_ a magical girl like us.”

“Are you just incapable of seeing how this could very well be a _bad_ thing?” Ladybug whispered flatly. “Like, seriously, you’d think someone who might have powers like us would trip some red flags."

“If she’s got a miraculous like us, then she must be a superhero like us,” Chat reasoned. “Emphasis on _hero_.”

“Not everyone who has a miraculous is _good,_  Chat.”

“I’m counting Hawk Moth as a weird anomaly.”

“That is literally the only other one we know of who _might_ have a miraculous too, and he’s evil.”

“So we’ve got a two-in-three chance that this girl isn't evil, I’d say those are some pretty good statistics.” And then Chat did like, an eyebrow wiggle thing. “And I’ll have you know that I am passing my math class with _flying colors._ ”

“...I can't tell if that was supposed to be a pun about the fox girl or not.”

“It wasn't, but I really should've taken that opportunity, dangit.”

“ _Chat._ ”

“Alright, alright,” he resigned, holding his hands up in defeat. He mimicked her poised position, staring intently at the fox girl. “So I think it’s safe to assume she’s no akuma.”

“Don’t exactly hear any delusional demandings for our miraculouses,” she snorted.

“Still don’t think she’s gonna target us, especially when she’s hearing everything we’re saying.”

“That may be, but--” Ladybug’s words died in her throat, her mind just now registering Chat’s _entire_ comment. Bewildered, she snapped her head to him

“Wait, _what?”_

He blinked, turning to her in confusion. “Huh?”

“She can _hear_ us?” Ladybug hissed, the words coming out less as actual words and more as the sound of steam from a boiling teapot. “But we’re _whispering,_ how do you _know_?”

A bit sheepishly, Chat flicked one of his cat ears, which actually wiggled a bit in reaction. “If her fox ears are anything like mine, she probably just heard our entire conversation about furries and magical girls.”

“That I did.”

Both Ladybug and Chat Noir immediately froze, bodies tensed as they simultaneously snapped their eyes to the fox girl _who was standing right in front of them and definitely NOT two rooftops away._

In unison, the lucky duo stepped back and poised into a fighting stance, one more ready for offensive and the other more ready for defensive. The fox girl, whose features they could see much better at this close distance, just stood casually, one arm rested on her cocked hip, the other mindlessly twirling a flute. She gave them an amused, lidded look, her lips quirking into an almost playful smirk, as if she were just patiently waiting for them to stand like casual people.

And after a few tense moments, the battle ready urges started to fade, bodies twitching in their stances as the tension slowly wore off.

Ladybug was the first to speak, eyes narrowing at the fox girl. “Who _are_ you?”

The fox girl smirked. “An Italian girl in Paris,” she answered cryptically.

Which of course just made Ladybug more annoyed than anything. If anything, that annoyance replaced the suspicion for the time being.

“And what brings you to Paris, Miss…?” Chat asked, drawing out the end of that question. Ladybug really did have to appreciate the more subtle route he took trying to get this girl’s name.

The fox girl _must_ have noticed this, it wasn't like it was so subtle it’d go over her head if she were actively trying to prolong her introduction (which Ladybug assumed to be the case). But she just idly twirled her flute, focusing more on grinning deviously at that instrument than at actually addressing Chat Noir. “I’m just stopping by. After all, it’s not everyday you get to meet the _famous_ superheroes, _Ladybug and Chat Noir!_ ”

She even punctuated her obviously fake gushing with a hand to her cheek, her mouth making a perfectly circular ‘o' as she stared at them in faux-awe.

“That’s… not really a convincing answer,” Chat chuckled awkwardly.

The fox girl shrugged. “Mm, figures. I’m actually looking for a friend of mine.”

“Friend?” Ladybug echoed.

“Friend, acquaintance, outlaw, whatever you want to call him, _coccinella._ ”

Chat extended his baton just to lean on it, actually getting into this conversation. “So what’s his name?”

“See, a major aspect of having secret identities is that we’re totally clueless to, you know, the _identities._ ”

“Are we just going to overlook the fact that you called him an _outlaw_?” Ladybug spluttered.

The fox girl just grinned. “Are we overlooking that fact? Of course we are.”

It was at that moment Ladybug was dead certain the universe was just fucking around with her in the form of a goddamn fox lady.

“But enough talk about him,” the fox girl waved off dismissively. “He’s got such a big ego, and it’s obvious he’s not around right now.” She took a step to the edge of the roof, grinning slyly at the two of them. “You’ll let me know if you see him around,  won’t you?”

So shocked that this fox girl was going to leave just like that, Ladybug couldn't really think of an immediate reply. Luckily, Chat did.

“But we don't know _anything_ about him,” he said. “How will we even know if we _do_ spot him?”

“You know enough,” the fox girl grinned, as if she knew something they didn't. Which… was obviously true, given what they were literally just talking about.

“How could we even _communicate_ with you?” Ladybug asked incredulously, a part of her wondering why the hell she would even _want_ to communicate with this fox girl she’d met like, five minutes ago.

“Volpina’s the name and flute playing’s the game.” The fox girl-- _Volpina_ \--raised her flute, waving it a bit for good measure. “Just call me, beep me if you wanna reach me.”

With that, Volpina took another step onto the edge and poised herself into a running position. She gave the lucky duo a salute before bolting off into the dark of the night, her silhouette disappearing within mere seconds.

Which left Ladybug and Chat Noir to just _stand_ there, still unsure as to what the fuck just happened.

After some time, Chat retracted his baton, tucking it behind him. “So I think we’ve gotten enough out of this patrol, my Lady, it’s about time we get going. Unless you want to chase after Volpina?”

Ladybug had, frankly, had enough with superpowered fox girls tonight. As much as it were very unrealistic to believe, she hoped this would be the _only_ time they ran into this Italian fox lady.

* * *

The second time they met her, they met her _friend_ too.

It was another routine patrol, just as late as the last when a sudden blur of _very bright blue_ practically  _jumped_ the duo.

On pure instinct, Ladybug hurled her yo-yo towards this indistinguishable blue figure, miraculous tying its arms and legs to its body on the first try.

Ladybug kneeled down next to the figure, Chat doing the same as he held his baton, still ready to strike. On closer examination, it seemed like this figure wasn't just blue; he was dressed in a gaudy blue spandex suit with _so many frills_ , wearing a mask that had an equally gaudy flair to it.

“Un _hand me!_ ”

And of all the things they expected this figure to say, those two words in a _very_ nasally yet masculine was definitely _no_ t what they expected, especially when he whined it with such intensity it’s a goddamn miracle he hadn't yet defeated Chloe Bourgeois in that regard.

Ladybug didn't make any moves to retract her yo-yo’s string, instead opting to incredulously stare at this boy.

He just shot her a glare with his piercing blue eyes. “Are you  _deaf_? I said _unhand me this instant_!”

“I dunno, someone who just straight up tries to jump us doesn't sound like the kind of person I’d untie,” said Ladybug, tapping her chin in _really deep thought._ “What do you think, Chat?"

“I think this guy’s got a bit of explaining to do,” he said so nonchalantly, and yet the steady grip on his baton never once faltered.

“Oh, huh, looks like you found my friend.”

Just like before, both Ladybug and Chat Noir snapped their eyes in unison to the fox girl who suddenly stood in front of them. Only this time, the fox girl was at least sort of familiar. And only this time, a third person accompanied the duo with a very high pitched _shriek_ at the fox girl’s sudden appearance.

“Okay, _ow_ ,” Chat moaned, the cat ears atop his head wiggling like crazy.

The tied up blue boy just uncommittedly scoffed at Chat’s pain, collecting himself as he looked over at Volpina. “ _Why_ do you always do that?”

“As much as I don't want to agree with someone who quite possibly just shattered my eardrums,” Ladybug chimed in, “you have _really_ got to stop appearing like that.”

Volpina just grinned. “I _am_ sneaky as a fox for a reason, you know.”

“Uh huh.” Ladybug made sure to sound _extra_ unconvinced.  She tugged her yo-yo’s string slightly, putting the attention on the tied up boy. “So who exactly is your friend?”

The blue boy stuck his nose up, trying to look refined as if he weren't tied up and lying on a roof wearing literal spandex. “They call me by many names, most of which are worthy of a prince, and--”

“His name is Pavone,” Volpina immediately interrupted.

“ _VOLPIIIIINAAAAA!"_

“He’s got the peacock miraculous, in case you haven't realized,” she continued, ignoring Pavone’s whiny whines in satisfaction.

“So you have a fox one, then?” Chat asked.

“ _The_ fox one, I’ll have you know.” She reached into her suit’s collar to pull out a necklace with only a fox tail charm hanging from it. “Master Fu entrusted it to me so I could go catch _this_ dork and make sure he doesn't go AWOL with the broach.”

“Oh, so just because I've had _my_ Miraculous longer than any of you, you think I’d go power mad,” Pavone pouted. “Just who do you take me for?”

“As I said, a _dork._ ”

“Well, this… _dork_ doesn't appreciate being tied all up. I _demand_ to be released from these stringy shackles, they’re digging into my wonderfully exposed face.”

Volpina rolled her eyes, glancing to Ladybug. “You heard the baby man, _coccinella_. Mind releasing this egomaniac from your stringy shackles?”

At this point, this blue boy had been deemed not a threat soon after Volpina arrived. So Ladybug retracted the string, and for a moment Pavone just lied there, bemoaning about his _wonderful_ _face_ becoming _absolutely bruised._

“Hey, Chat, looks like you’ve got some competition for being the biggest drama queen,” she snickered to her partner.

“Hardy har har,” Chat said flatly, still smiling a bit.

Volpina grabbed Pavone’s wrists and pulled him to his feet, and as he staggered it became really apparent how much of his grandiose suit design derived from the fact that he was a _peacock superhero_. The actually very detailed peacock broach pinned to his chest made that all the more obvious.

“So, _mio piccolo pavone_ , are you ready to head back to our quaint little Italy?” Volpina asked, lips quirking into a grin.

“What? No!” Pavone yelled. “I came to Paris to get _away_ from that country! I _refuse_ to go back!”

She set a hand on his shoulder, which got him really flustered as he rattled off something about, “Did you just _touch_ me?!?!” Volpina just ignored him as she addressed Ladybug and Chat Noir. “We’ll just leave you two to your patrols and whatnot. Seems like dear Pavone just needs to let off some steam in your city.”

“No I don't! Let off steam, what do you _take_ me for?!”

Volpina turned and started to walk away, arms wrapped around Pavone’s shoulders as she waved her flute back to the lucky duo. “You’ll probably see more of us here in the future, _coccinella, gatto nero_. I’m guessing we’ll only be staying for a week, but it could be two, three, forever…”

She stopped, glancing back with a mischievous grin. “But you know how it is.”

With that, Volpina tugged a very unwilling Pavone along, again bounding off into the dark of the night until both their silhouettes had disappeared entirely, once again leaving as quickly as they had even appeared.

And it was once again that Ladybug and Chat Noir were left to just _stand_ there, still unsure as to what the fuck just happened.

Ladybug groaned, rubbing her temples, seriously wishing she could have one night where shit like this didn't happen all at once.

“Ladybug?”

“Mm?”

“You look like you’re wanting to lucky charm up a knife.”

“That I do, kitty. That I do.”

* * *

By the third time, things were just goddamn insane.

It was during their nighttime patrols, because _of course_ it was. And like the times before, they were met with a fox girl who just suddenly showed up right in front of them atop a rooftop. Seriously. Ladybug wasn't sure how she did it, even when they actually planned for it to happen and kept Chat on lookout.

Somehow that Volpina just keep appearing.

“Why, it’s been quite some time since we’ve last bumped into each other,” Volpina greeted.

“That was yesterday,” Ladybug deadpanned.

“And look who I’ve brought!” she continued, conveniently ignoring the spotted heroine. Motioning to her left, the duo was met with… nothing?

No, wait, no, there was something. Specifically, two hands that came up from the edge of the roof and climbed up to reveal everyone’s favorite Pavone.

“That was _very unfair,_ Volpina,” Pavone huffed.

“So what if I broke the ladder? As such a _miraculous superhero,_  I would think climbing up a three story building would be _easy_.”

“Well, _excuuuse me_ for not having a weapon that can bring me up to places!” Pavone retorted. “All I have are paper arrows! _Paper! Arrows!_ While your flute can make, of all things, _tornados._ ”

“I don't think you’ve tried to ride a tornado.”

Chat cleared his throated. “So, _anyway_ , have you guys decided how long you’ll be staying in Paris?”

As Ladybug gave him an incredulous look, Pavone turned his nose up to them. “We’ve spent quite some time discussing it, I suppose, and we’ve ultimately came to the decision that we’ll be staying here for a month.”

“And then it’s right back to Italy, yes?” Volpina prompted, nudging him with her elbow while she had her other arm behind her back.

With great hesitance and gritted teeth, Pavone spoke. “...Yes, then it’s back to Italy.”

“Great,” Volpina nodded, pleased with herself. “I’m gonna hold you to that, you know.”

Pavone scoffed. “Please, if I happen to _decide_ to rescind my decision, there’s nothing holding me back from it.”

_“Yes, then it’s back to Italy.”_

Eyes widened, Pavone whipped his head to the sound of _his own voice_ that came from…

_“Yes, then it’s back to Italy.”_

...From Volpina’s flute?

She just gave him this huge shit eating grin as she pressed a button on her flute, replaying the recorded message.

_“Yes, then it’s back to Italy."_

She tapped her chin with the incriminating flute. “See, technically, it’s _you_ that’s holding you back, and unless you want me going straight to Master Fu with this and having _him_ deal with your insubordination, I’d say you’d want to keep your word on this.”

Pavone gave her an angry, defeated, _pout._

“It’s called a hustle, sweetheart,” Volpina said with faux-sympathy, failing to keep the smirk out of her voice.

This time, Ladybug was the one to clear her throat. “So this is all great and all, two more miraculous… uh, _heroes_ is always good, but can we just get on with our patrol already?"

Pavone huffed, crossing his arms and glaring at the ground. “Hmmph. Might as well.”

Volpina opened her mouth to say something, then faltered, glancing at _something_ behind the lucky duo. She closed her mouth into a grin, and before Ladybug or Chat could even say anything, a _very_ high pitched squeal rang out through the rooftop.

_“EEEEEEEE LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR HIIIII!”_

When they turned, they were met with a…

...a blonde girl in a goddamn honeybee getup.

She stood in front of the two, a scepter in hand, a black and yellow suit and mask on, and a hair comb firmly implanted in her hair, radiating absolute radiance or something. There was a bounce in her step, as if standing face to face with Ladybug and Chat Noir was like meeting her biggest fans. Which was probably actually the case.

Dumbly, Ladybug and Chat said in unison, “Who are you?”

“My name is Reine Abeille,” she said, standing proud and haughtilly. “And as of right now, I’m officially a superhero, so I’m gonna help you guys save Paris the _right_ way.”

There was a _long_ moment of silence. Like, super long. It would've been awkward had it not been so long it passed that awkward stage. Now it was just… silence.

Until _finally_ , Volpina cleared her throat. “Well, I think it’s about time Pavone and I leave you three be.”

“Wait, I actually want to talk to her--”

“Nope.” And then she summoned a goddamn tornado from her flute, tossing Pavone in, saying, “Bye,” to the other three miraculous holders, and stepping in herself. The tornado just shot off into the night sky, disappearing into the night as if it were destined to.

Which now left Ladybug, Chat Noir, and this _Reine Abeille,_ the latter of which registered nothing out of the ordinary with the mini tornado just appearing from a flute.

“Sooo, when are we going to fight some akumas or whatever?”

Ladybug blinked.

Chat Noir blinked.

“I’m just going to go home for the night.”

“Same here, Bugaboo.”

“Okay.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

They bounded off in different directions, leaving Reine the only one on the rooftop.

She stopped her foot on the roof, crossing her arms with her scepter still in hand.

“Um, okay, first off, _rude.”_

* * *

After three nights of utter insanity, Marinette was glad for the typical nature that was school. So much so that she actually came to class _early,_ twenty minutes before class would even start.

If that werent surprising enough, _Adrien_ had come to class early too, and Marinette was shocked that he didn't have any last minute photo shoots like usual to make him late either. So shocked that she returned his greeting of, “Good morning” without even stuttering, as she hadn't really made the connection that this was her _super nice crush_ that was early like she was.

If that was shocked, Alya and Nino were freaking _amazed_ to see both Marinette and Adrien in the room when they entered together. Unlike those two, Alya and Nino usually weren't late.

As more of their classmates petered in when class actually started, Madame Bustier addressed the class. “Good morning, students! I’m very glad to say that we have not one, but _two_ students joining our class today!”

Madame Bustier motioned to the door, and two students walked in, a boy and a girl both with dark brown hair.

Something about them registered alarm bells within Marinette’s mind, and suddenly she was all the more attentive at who these two new kids really were.

“This is Ali,” Madame Bustier said, motioning to the boy who stood quite refined and looked like he was this close to turning his nose up to everyone as he scanned the room with his… piercing blue eyes.

“And this is Bianca,” Unlike Ali, Bianca’s entire stance was completely casual, her green eyes containing a mischievious glint in them as her hair idly swept by, tied in a way that remarkably looked like… a… fox’s tail.

Marinette’s breath hitched, and although she was already trying to convince herself that this was all just pure coincidence, her eyes still found their way to both of their attire, trying to find _something._

And she found it in the form of a dulled fox tail necklace and a darkened peacock broach.

“They’re both from Italy, so do please try to be respectful of their culture,” Madame Bustier finished.

Marinette just seemed to freeze right then and there.

“Ah, mm, would it be possible if I could sit with that blonde girl up front?” Ali asked.

But nope, it seemed like the universe wasn't done complete destroying this bluenette’s sanity.

“With _me_?” said Chloe, being said blonde girl, absentmindedly filing her nails. “As _if_. Why would I want the new kid when I’ve already got Sabrina?”

Sabrina didn't answer, she was too busy reaching for something in Chloe’s hair. Before she could touch it, Chloe immediately reeled back, almost like she was… afraid?

If that was fear, Chloe expertly hid it with irritation. “ _What_ are you _doing_?”

“S-Sorry,” Sabrina stuttered. “That’s just a really nice hair comb you have, Chloe! I didn’t know you had one!”

_Hair comb._

“Uh, I have _lots_ of hair combs, Sabrina,” Chloe scoffed, very oblivious to a certain blunette that was suddenly staring at her so hard the intensity probably would have crushed her.

“But I’ve _never_ see you with that kind before!”

“What can I say? I’m just full of new things.” Chloe grinned to herself, brushing her fingers over the very dull yellow hair comb that sat atop her hair, the only noticable detail on it being a tiny illustration of a **_bee._ **

Marinette shot to her feet, slapping her hands on the table so hard it was loud enough to silence everyone.

“Uh, Marinette?” Alya asked, seriously freaking confused.

Marinette just stood absolutely _stiff,_ staring in the general direction of Ali and Bianca and--

Bianca _winked._

“Mari--”

“THAT’S IT I AM DONE I AM _SO DONE_ ,” she yelled, not even caring that she had just interrupted _Adrien._

She stomped towards the door, sparing only a single glance at Bianca who twirled her necklace absentmindedly, giving Marinette that same knowing smile.

So Marinette just stomped out of class, slamming the door behind her so hard some would swear the hinges actually _broke._

There was a _very_ long moment of silence where everyone but two people stared at the door.

Adrien had figured out what was happening with the two new kids and Chloe at the same time Marinette had, although he didn't know it. So he just stared at Bianca, mouth agape.

  
Bianca, being the only other person not staring at the door, gave Adrien a wink, a a finger gun, and a shit eating grin.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so very tired.
> 
> I got Volpina's civilian name (Bianca) from the fanfic "Telltale" by Zizzani. Chloe's entire hero form (Reine Abeille, with the scepter and everything) come from the titular fic "Reine Abeille" by Plagg. Both are super amazing fics, you should check them out! c:
> 
> And now I wait for canon to completely obliterate my headcanon that Prince Ali has had his miraculous for the longest (excluding Master Fu obvs) and just went super rogue with it but not by doing evil, just by dicking around and not actually being a hero.
> 
> According to google translate, Pavone is just Italian for peacock, and I used a sparse few google translate Italian words for Volpina. It shouldn't be too distracting if they're wrong in how they're formatted, but I'll still fix them if they are.
> 
> and now, to sleep


End file.
